Grandma P

This morning Spenser called me with the sad news that dear Grandma Packer had passed away. All I could think to say was 'Oh, not Grandma.' You see, even though Grandma Pack (as we loved to call her) was not my grandma I always felt like she was. She had this wonderful ability to make everyone feel loved and special. She was the type of grandma that I know someday I want to be and the type of person I want to be right now.

As I went downstairs to tell Thomas and Olivia I started to cry. They didn't give me too much of a response really. I think that they were both feeling too sick for it to even register too much. As I went back upstairs and cried a little bit more I thought to myself, "Why am I crying? Grandma's not sad. She gets to be with Grandpa again and for her I know there could be nothing better than that." You see that's one of the many things that she showed me. She showed me what true love is. She showed me how I should love, respect, and treat my own husband so that you really become one.

I first met Grandma and Grandpa Packer shortly after Spenser and I got engaged. We went up to their house to meet some relatives and talk about wedding cake designs and other wedding plans. They were so kind and welcoming from that very first meeting and they said that they loved me. I wondered how you could love someone so quickly. I'm not programmed that way I guess. I love people because I have spent time building a relationship with them. I don't love just because.

While we were still at BYU we would go and visit them on the weekends sometimes. I always felt guilty when Spenser suggested that we take our laundry up there with us to save some money. I didn't want them to think that we were taking advantage of them, but Spenser always reassured me that they loved to help out in any way that they could. Grandma would always have prepared a meal for us. The table was always neatly laid with a tablecloth. There were always rolls with homemade jams. There was always a jug of fruit punch from the plastic pitcher made from a variety of different juices. There was always a salad, which I know had been lovingly prepared because she I was always amazed at how would beautifully Grandma would slice and peel the cucumber.

When we left for Ohio and were having some difficulty finding jobs, it was Grandma and Grandpa who sent us some money to help us out. They were never fancy people, but there was always enough for someone who needed it.

One of the things that I loved most about Grandma Packer was how everyone who was special to you also became special to her. While Spense and I were in Provo, my sister Hayley would often visit with us. She got to come with us on Packer grandparent visits and became quite a part of the family. After I had driven out to Utah from Ohio when Hayley started BYU, Hayley was part of our belated Christmas celebrations with Spenser's family. It was here that we all received our traditional Christmas cards and money from Grandpa and Grandma Packer. As the cards were passed around there was also one for Hayley. Grandma knew that Hayley would be there and wanted her to feel just as loved and included. That's just the kind of person she was.

I always thought that Grandma had this special twinkle in her eye when Spenser was around. I thought that he was one of her favorites. She loved to talk with him and always listened with interest to everything that was going on in his life. It was later that I came to find out that she made all of her grandchildren feel just as special, and all of us adopted by marriage as well. She had a special gift of making you feel like you were the only one who mattered.

I am so glad that Grandma got to spend some time with us last summer when she was here for Spenser's brother's wedding. It was so nice to have her stay in our home and to join us at the family reunion. She would often sit there quietly, but you knew that she was just happy to watch and listen to everyone. I am only sad that we won't get to spend our summer trip to Utah visiting with you.

As I think about it, it's hard to feel sorry for Grandma. She is happy with Grandpa and free of pain. I know that we are feeling sorry for ourselves because we will miss her so. Thank you Grandma Packer for the legacy of love and faith that you have left to each of us. I know that I want to be a better person because of you. We love and miss you.