On Friday night we had a new couple in our ward and their cute little girl over for dinner. As we talked we discovered that Dave's sister had been a psychology major at about the same time as me and so he asked if I knew who she was. As he described her, I remembered the blonde girl that sat in class and always knew the answers. She was smart, and driven, and had big plans after she graduated to attend further school. I remember commenting to Spense that she made me feel bad for not wanting to further expand my horizons. dave showed me his sister's blog just to be sure that we were talking about the right person. We were.
Later, after they left I just had to have another look at what she was doing. She had a masters degree and her husband was training to become an orthodontist. They have a couple of kids who she crafts and bakes with almost every day it seems. Her blog is beautiful and full of amazing pictures that she has photoshopped, which she learned by taking a few photography classes. I thought about how she was still so far ahead! As a side note this is a gentle reminder to me as to why I don't let myself blog stalk too often. I just end up feeling 'blah' about myself when I know that I truly have much to be thankful for. (Oh, and goodness knows we all want to portray our best side on our blog anyway!)
Tonight I had the opportunity to speak at a fireside for the youth in another ward. Cathy had asked me a few weeks ago if I would speak about what it was like to grow up as a member of the church in England. I said that I would do it thinking that some other people would be there too, but it was just me. 45 minutes of me! While I am sure that the youth were bored to death at times, I am so grateful that I got the chance to review my life before America. I was also grateful to discover how much people thought I looked like a boy with my short hair. Maybe that's why no one ever wanted to date me!
I got a chance to pull out old journals and read about experiences that I had forgotten about. I looked at old pictures and laughed. I read letters from friends and loved ones, and I shed a few tears. People talked a lot about how happy I was and how much I laughed. Do I still laugh that much? I'm not sure that my friends would describe me that way now. Somewhere I think that I have let life become too serious! I was also slightly sad because I felt a little bit like I haven't become that person that people thought I would. I did, however, have an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for those people who have touched my life. I am grateful for Rachael, Sarah Jane, Philip, Debbie, Lindsey, Abby, and Russell. I'm grateful for Malcolm and Shirley, Ann and Tim, Marie and Julie (to name just a few). I was of course reminded of how lucky I am to have two wonderful parents and a sister who have always loved and supported me.
Rach, Me and the Pipster
As I spent those few hours preparing, I was reminded that it's OK to be me and not someone else. I have been blessed to have unique experiences to prepare me for those things that I will need in my life and not in someone else's. I only need to compare me to me, and no one else. I simply want to be a better me, not a clone of someone else!
7 comments:
Nadia, that was such a great post. For once, I actually feel like a better person after reading someone's blog. I am always comparing myself to other women, and I find that I lack in every single area. It's hard to remain happy and positive when you put so much pressure on yourself to achieve the impossible.
I think that you are amazing, and every time I look at your blog, I think of what a great mom you are to do so many fun and adventurous things with your kids.
Annie just saw that picture and said oh! is that you Mum! Not sure if that is good or bad! I just want to tell you that I love you! What great times we had and we did have a lot to laugh at! I just did my lesson in RS about this very subject of not comparing and not feeling guilty about not doing things that you don't need to be doing in this season of your life!, and about realising that you are better than you think you are! You are amazing and such an example to me. You always have been! I only wish we lived right next to each other still. I love chatting on the phone, but I love being around you more! Maybe one day! Thanks for being you!
You have amazing talents Nadia. If you ever want to feel good about your blog, just visit mine.:)
I can't tell you how many times I feel the same way. I'm glad you got the chance to look back. Just so you know I think of you as a talented wonderful mother and a great example.
As someone who has the pleasure of spending most of the last 10 years with you, you truly are a wonderful person. I think that there would be a great many people that look at you and think, I just couldn't compete with her. I know that I do. I was totally intimidated taking classes with you because I knew well how much smarter than me you were, and you earned every A you received.
I have said it many times, but I stand daily in admiration of everything that you get done, and feel totally inadequate with my own accomplishments. Our children have definitely learned to laugh from you, even if you are slightly more serious, but that is because you see being a mother and wife as so important. I am so proud of you, so amazed that you ever fell for me, and so glad to have you.
What an example you are to all of us! I agree with Spenser, that the reason you might not laugh so much is because you are serious in your role as a wife and mother and want the very best for everyone. I don't think your serious, just need to let go of the "Elaine" genes of "stress" once in a while - we all do! I'm so grateful that you are my sister and how blessed my life has been because of you! We all have different talents and abilities and some people may have more than others but I think that when Heavenly Father gave out talents, he gave you a few more than most. We love and miss you xx
I found it ironic a bit how you felt about not measuring up to that girl. Because I look at your blog (and life) and think wow I wish I did better like Nadia does! You are such and incredible person and such a fantastic mother. Don't ever let yourself feel like you are not enough! You are just exactly what your family needs. You constantly inspire me and I love you tons!
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